It’s been one hell of a week for me, as far as other people are concerned. Actually, one hell of a month. I’ve never in my life been “ghosted”, until the last couple weeks, and it has now happened more than once. One was a person that I became really close to who now, apparently, doesn’t feel like she can come back here for reasons I can only guess. The others were people I didn’t know very well, but who the fuck does this? When did this kind of behavior become acceptable?

And that’s not all I’ve had to deal with. Yesterday I got stood up trying to buy a tablet off of a lady from Facebook Marketplace when I went to meet her at the exact time and place that she specified. Not only did she no-show, but I never heard from her again. Who the fuck does this?

It has really made it difficult for me to approach strangers with the presumption of charitability. I’ve worked a long time to develop into someone who doesn’t automatically assume the worst in people, but somehow that effort has done little more than putting some kind of mark on me that says “Hey, don’t worry… you can shit all over me. It’s fine.”

So what do I do? Do I revert back to the way I was and keep people at arm’s length until they prove to me they deserve to be closer? Do I stay the way I am now and tolerate disrespect? I’ve tried reaching out to people I haven’t spoken to in a while, striking up conversations with old friends and acquaintances, and most of it has been met with apathy. I feel like my efforts to extend myself back toward human contact have only reaffirmed the benefits of seclusion in my mind.

But that can’t be the right answer. I’m not ready to throw in the towel yet, but I can tell you that so far, all I’ve seen and done lately has reaffirmed my conviction that most people suck, and that being a warm, charitable person might be a sucker’s idea of idealism.

We’ll see. I hope someone proves me wrong. If not, there’s a very real chance that I disappear from view and just enjoy life in my bubble.